Complete works of 40-word humorous short stories

1 Chen Jingrun is thinking about math problems as he walks. As a result, he accidentally bumped into a telephone pole. According to legend, in ancient times, there were ten days in the sky at the same time, and the crops were all sunburned and the people were miserable. A hero named Hou Yi has infinite power. He sympathized with the suffering people, climbed to the top of Kunlun Mountain, drew a bow with divine power, shot down more than nine suns in one breath, and ordered the last one to rise and fall on time for the benefit of the people. The rabbit ran away from the fox. The fox asked the rabbit why he ran away, and the rabbit said that God ordered the ram to be killed. The fox said, "You are not a ram. What are you nervous about? " "If you make a mistake, it will be too late to turn over a new leaf in the future." Newton was very absorbed in the study of knowledge. Once, when he was hungry, he boiled eggs to eat, but while thinking about the problem, he put the eggs in the pot. The problem was solved. When he wanted to eat eggs, he opened the lid and picked up his pocket watch. Little fish didn't see his father for several days, so he asked his mother, "Mom, where did dad go these days?" Mother fish fondled the child's head affectionately and said, "Your father went to class! It is said that the course content is to observe the human digestive system! " According to legend, osmanthus trees in front of Guanghan Palace on the moon are flourishing, reaching more than 500 feet. There is a man who often cuts, but after each cut, the cut place closes immediately. For thousands of years, this laurel tree can never be cut down. It is said that this tree-chopping man named WU GANG, a native of Xihe in Han Dynasty, once went to heaven with the immortal, but when he made a mistake, the immortal banished him to the Moon Palace and did this kind of hard work in vain every day as a punishment. On the wedding night, the bear kindly asked the white rabbit, "Dear, are you a virgin?" The white rabbit said, "of course, ask the black wolf." When we did that yesterday, there was blood. " Bear handfuls of white rabbits in his arms: "My good lady." After that, I blew the lights again. After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles!" Now, please talk to the township head! The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is chinemys reevesii!" " "Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! Without pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you ... (Translation: Don't talk, I'll tell you a story ...) A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "Rabbit, shrimp, pig tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! "Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! The coach said, "Class One kills chickens, Class Two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you. "Primary shot, secondary play. Let me show you. ) A foreign girl married to China. It was pointed out that you can't eat fried dough sticks at breakfast: "Dip in and eat. She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!" Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "The newly appointed magistrate here is from Shandong. Because I had to pay the bill, I said to the master, "Go and buy me two bamboo poles." As soon as the master heard that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", he quickly agreed and ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You know better! "The shopkeeper is a wise man. He immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and gave a pair of pig ears. Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. When I returned to the county government, I reported to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver! "The magistrate was very angry when he saw that his master had bought pig liver, and said," Where are your ears? "The master turned pale with fear and quickly replied," Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket! ""Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He must give him a chicken first. A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. He told the landlord about the lease of the land next year. He insisted that his hands were empty, opened his eyes and said, "There are no three kinds of fields." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. When he decided to be a chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, "Who will you give it to if you don't give it to Zhang San?" Zhang San said, "Your words have become so fast!" The landlord replied, "Just now that sentence was' nonsense (chicken talk)', and now this sentence is' play it by ear (chicken talk)'. "There is an opportunity for a commodity salesman to go to Guangzhou on business. When I arrived in Beijing, I sent a telegram to the manager because I had to fly forward, fearing that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement: "There is an opportunity, do you want to seize it? When the manager received the telegram, he thought it was an "opportunity" to conclude the transaction, and immediately called back and said, "Take it if you can." "The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager refused to reimburse the ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified and would not be reimbursed by plane. The salesman took out the manager's reply and the manager was dumbfounded. On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal. During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone, raised his head and gulped it down, then said, "I'm from Yangon." The headmaster flew into a rage. At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Don't be an official! "A poor scholar studied hard and wrote a couplet in front of the door to encourage himself. The first couplet reads:' Sleep in the thatched cottage and play with people behind closed doors', the second couplet reads:' Lie on the ground and play the flute', and the second couplet reads:' Willing to listen to destiny'. One day, a Henan man passed by and was curious to see this couplet. He read aloud in his hometown dialect:' Who has * * * * eyes',' I hurt him' ... Yo, and Heng Ping! But this time he read backwards: "Do it again tomorrow!" " Little Nutbrown hare said, "My mother calls me Little Nutbrown hare, which is very nice!" " "The pig said," My mother calls me a pig, which is very nice! ""The dog said, "My mother called me a puppy, which is nice!" "The chicken said," you talk, I walked first! "The rabbit said," I'm a son of a bitch! " "The pig said," I'm a son of a bitch! "The chicken said," I am a son of a bitch! " "The dog said," you talk, I walked first! "No.0 sparring partner said," Outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice! " No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!" No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good for outsiders to call me the second escort!" No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, I'll go first!" The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It looks good!" " "The dog said to me," I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice! "The fish said to me," I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice! " "The bear said," You talk, I'll go first! " "Lang Ke said," People call me a ronin, which is very nice! " The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!" The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "The swordsman said," you talk, I walked first! Jane Zhang said, "My fans say my idol is Ying." He Jie said, "My fans say my idol is Jay." "My fans say my idol is Chang." Chris Lee said, "you chat, I walked first! "The senior math teacher said: I teach senior math this semester, and the college physics teacher said: I teach big things this semester. The analog electronics teacher said: I teach analog electronics this semester, and the socialist economy teacher said: You talk, I'll go first. Peking University said: I am from Peking University. Tianjin University said: I am older. Shanghai University said: I went to college. Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first! General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man! General fu said to him: I am just! General Zuo Quan said: I have this right! General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first! Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said: My door is made of plastic. Lao Zhang's door is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: My door is made of wood. Lao Wang's door is made of brick. Lao Wang said: My door is made of bricks. Lao Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first! Bai Yu said: My name is White. Jade jade said, my name is jasper. Redjade said, My name is Redjade. Xing Yu said: You talk, I'll go first! Teachers' College students said: I'm a student of Railway College of Teachers' College, said: I'm a student of Railway College of Vocational College, said: I'm a student of Technical College of Vocational College, said: You chat, I'll go first 1. Because of the homonym, the village chief said, "Rabbit, shrimp, no pickles. "Comrades and villagers, don't talk, now the meeting. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The head of the township said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii. "Comrades, folks, today's meal is enough, everyone uses a big bowl. 2. In a busy market, a fish seller shouted, "Fresh fish!" At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted: "bubble gum!" The fish seller said to the sugar seller, "hey, why did you say my fish was ruined?" "They are more noisy more fierce. Just then, a seller of bean sprouts shouted again: "bean sprouts!" " A security guard came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado!" After listening to this, the security guard said, "All right, let's take you four with us! "... a child licked in front of the blacksmith shop and watched the blacksmith strike while the iron was hot for a long time. The blacksmith hated him so much that he picked up a red-hot soldering iron and put it under his nose, trying to force him to go away. The child said, "If you give me a dollar, I will lick it." The blacksmith dug up a dollar and gave it to the child. The child took the money, licked it, put it in the bag and left. When did sister have it? Ask your roommate about the wine. I want to know the girl next door; Do you have a boyfriend? I want to see the wall, but I'm afraid the wall is too thick and I hurt my hand. I used a peeping glass instead, and everyone in the room left. Turn the stairs and look down. So-and-so, if she is not single, she is holding a handsome elbow. People have joys and sorrows, and the moon has ups and downs. This matter has existed since ancient times. I hope it won't be long before they break up 14: The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle replied first: Yes! Compere: Give an example! Eagles with tears: That year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree ... and then there was an owl ...15: Two dung beetles discussed the welfare lottery, and A said: If I won the grand prize, I would buy all the toilets in Fiona Fang 50 miles and eat enough every day! B said: you are too vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day! We have a female math teacher from Sichuan, and her Mandarin is OK, but "pro" and "question" are always confused. Once she finished a question for us and asked everyone, "Do you understand? If you don't understand, you can get up and kiss me. " The students were all surprised. Everybody look at me, I look at you. Nobody got up. She added, "Why, I'm embarrassed to get up and kiss, aren't I?" The students were even more disgusted, and some almost laughed. Seeing that no one asked, the teacher said, "I am too old to kiss." Well, I won't come to my office after class and' kiss' me when no one is around. "Ha ha! The students finally couldn't help laughing. The new magistrate is from Shandong, because he has to pay the bill. He said to the master: Agree with 48| Comments (4) Ask TA for help Respondents: lshhtt comes from the team, please turn around | Secondary adoption rate: 4% Good at areas: brain teasers/fortune Chinese pop music, love, activities in campus life: activities related to which I have not participated for the time being 2010-10-. ! 50 words 28 2011-5-13 The less interesting stories between people and animals, the better. 50 words 32 2011-9-19 physicists' interesting stories must be interesting! ! ! ! Within 50 words! ! ! ! 2009-9-20 Ask for 40-50 words of interesting detective stories 42 Ask for 50 words of interesting short stories >:> Look at the same question: Other answers to homophonic stories * * * 22010-1-201/kloc. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess around, right?" ! The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it). Agree to comment 4| (1) 20101-2019: 39 851040133 | after the second-level county magistrate finishes, preside over it. Now, please talk to the township head! The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is chinemys reevesii!" " "Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! Without pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you ... (Translation: Don't talk, I'll tell you a story ...) A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "Rabbit, shrimp, pig tail! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! "Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! The coach said, "Class One kills chickens, Class Two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you. "Primary shot, secondary play. Let me show you. ) A foreign girl married to China. It was pointed out that you can't eat fried dough sticks at breakfast: "Dip in and eat. She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!" Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "The newly appointed magistrate here is from Shandong. Because I had to pay the bill, I said to the master, "Go and buy me two bamboo poles." As soon as the master heard that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", he quickly agreed and ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pig liver. You know better! "The shopkeeper is a wise man. He immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and gave a pair of pig ears. Out of the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. When I returned to the county government, I reported to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver! "The magistrate was very angry when he saw that his master had bought pig liver, and said," Where are your ears? "The master turned pale with fear and quickly replied," Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket! ""Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He must give him a chicken first. A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. He told the landlord about the lease of the land next year. He insisted that his hand was empty. He opened his eyes and said, "There are no three fields." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. When he decided to be a chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, "Who will you give it to if you don't give it to Zhang San?" Zhang San said, "Your words have become so fast!" The landlord replied, "Just now that sentence was' nonsense (chicken talk)', and now this sentence is' play it by ear (chicken talk)'. "There is an opportunity for a commodity salesman to go to Guangzhou on business. When I arrived in Beijing, I sent a telegram to the manager because I had to fly forward, fearing that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement: "There is an opportunity, do you want to seize it? When the manager received the telegram, he thought it was an "opportunity" to conclude the transaction, and immediately called back and said, "Take it if you can." "The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager refused to reimburse the ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified and would not be reimbursed by plane. The salesman took out the manager's reply and the manager was dumbfounded. On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal. During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then raise your glass to toast everyone, raise your head and drink it off, and then say, "I'm from Yangon." The headmaster was furious. At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; Officials are not officials! " A poor scholar studied hard and wrote a couplet in front of the door to encourage himself. The first couplet reads:' Sleep in the thatched cottage and play with people behind closed doors', the second couplet reads:' Lie on the ground and play the flute', and the second couplet reads:' Willing to listen to destiny'. One day, a Henan man passed by and was curious to see this couplet. He read aloud in his hometown dialect:' Who has * * * * eyes',' I hurt him' ... Yo, and Heng Ping! But this time he read backwards: "Do it again tomorrow!" " Little Nutbrown hare said, "My mother calls me Little Nutbrown hare, which is very nice!" " "The pig said," My mother calls me a pig, which is very nice! ""The dog said, "My mother called me a puppy, which is nice!" "The chicken said," you talk, I walked first! "The rabbit said," I'm a son of a bitch! " "The pig said," I'm a son of a bitch! "The chicken said," I am a son of a bitch! " "The dog said," you talk, I walked first! "No.0 sparring partner said," Outsiders call me zero sparring partner, which is nice! " No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!" No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good for outsiders to call me the second escort!" No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, I'll go first!" The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It looks good!" " "The dog said to me," I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice! "The fish said to me," I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice! " "The bear said," You talk, I'll go first! " "Lang Ke said," People call me a ronin, which is very nice! " The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!" The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "The swordsman said," you talk, I walked first! Jane Zhang said, "My fans say my idol is Ying." He Jie said, "My fans say my idol is Jay." "My fans say my idol is Chang." Chris Lee said, "you chat, I walked first! "The senior math teacher said: I teach senior math this semester, and the college physics teacher said: I teach big things this semester. The analog electronics teacher said: I teach analog electronics this semester, and the socialist economy teacher said: You talk, I'll go first. Peking University said: I am from Peking University. Tianjin University said: I am older. Shanghai University said: I went to college. Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first! General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man! General fu said to him: I am just! General Zuo Quan said: I have this right! General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first! Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said: My door is made of plastic. Lao Zhang's door is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: My door is made of wood. Lao Wang's door is made of brick. Lao Wang said: My door is made of bricks. Lao Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first! Bai Yu said: My name is White. Jade jade said, my name is jasper. Redjade said, My name is Redjade. Xing Yu said: You talk, I'll go first! Teachers' College students said: I'm a student of Railway College of Teachers' College, said: I'm a student of Railway College of Vocational College, said: I'm a student of Technical College of Vocational College, said: You chat, I'll go first 1. Because of the homonym, the village chief said, "Rabbit, shrimp, no pickles. "Comrades and villagers, don't talk, now the meeting. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The head of the township said, "Rabbits, shrimps and dogs ate today's meal. Everyone is chinemys reevesii. "Comrades, folks, today's meal is enough, everyone uses a big bowl. 2. In a busy market, a fish seller shouted, "Fresh fish!" At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted: "bubble gum!" The fish seller said to the sugar seller, "hey, why did you say my fish was ruined?" "They are more noisy more fierce. Just then, a seller of bean sprouts shouted again: "bean sprouts!" " A security guard came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado!" After listening to this, the security guard said, "All right, let's take you four with us! "... a child licked in front of the blacksmith shop and watched the blacksmith strike while the iron was hot for a long time. The blacksmith hated him so much that he picked up a red-hot soldering iron and put it under his nose, trying to force him to go away. The child said, "If you give me a dollar, I will lick it." The blacksmith dug up a dollar and gave it to the child. The child took the money, licked it, put it in the bag and left. When did sister have it? Ask your roommate about the wine. I want to know the girl next door; Do you have a boyfriend? I want to see the wall, but I'm afraid the wall is too thick and I hurt my hand. I used a peeping glass instead, and everyone in the room left. Turn the stairs and look down. So-and-so, if she is not single, she is holding a handsome elbow. People have joys and sorrows, and the moon has ups and downs. This matter has existed since ancient times. I hope it won't be long before they break up 14: The host asked: Can cats climb trees? The eagle replied first: Yes! Compere: Give an example! Eagles with tears: That year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree ... and then there was an owl ...15: Two dung beetles discussed the welfare lottery, and A said: If I won the grand prize, I would buy all the toilets in Fiona Fang 50 miles and eat enough every day! B said: you are too vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day! We have a female math teacher from Sichuan, and her Mandarin is OK, but "pro" and "question" are always confused. Once she finished a question for us and asked everyone, "Do you understand? If you don't understand, you can get up and kiss me. " The students were all surprised. Everybody look at me, I look at you. Nobody got up. She added, "Why, I'm embarrassed to get up and kiss, aren't I?" The students were even more disgusted, and some almost laughed. Seeing that no one asked, the teacher said, "I am too old to kiss." Well, I won't come to my office after class and' kiss' me when no one is around. "Ha ha! The students finally couldn't help laughing. The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he has to pay the bill, he said to his host. Funny Kinda Guy