The course of my letter meditation circle

I thought about the journey of the alphabet for a long time, and finally decided to write an article about my journey of the alphabet to record my mental journey. Briefly introduce myself, age 26, circle age more than four years, constellation Scorpio.

First, ignorance

Since high school, I like to try some new things, such as control, coercion, hand binding, outdoor and other simple gestures. I have always had a special interest in my partner's chrysanthemum, but because my partner can't accept it, the idea has come to nothing. At that time, I was young and didn't know anything. I occasionally fantasized about some special scenes.

Harm, I just think it's a constellation (Scorpio's organ is a sex organ), so I didn't realize the problem of the letter circle and didn't understand it deeply.

Second, I saw the alphabet circle for the first time.

Joining the army, enlisting and carrying guns should be every boy's childhood dream, and I am no exception. That year, I chose a soldier. Because of various reasons, I couldn't go to the army I wanted to go to, so I went to a certain unit.

Seven months after the recruits joined the company, and one and a half years after leaving the company, they were tortured and wronged, and the comrades in the same batch dared to be angry and dare not speak. Then in the third year, I slowly relaxed (after all, our unit is still a relatively relaxed and comfortable embrace).

During this period, I accidentally came into contact with the film fifty shades of grey. At first, I just looked at it briefly. Personally, I understood it as a special hobby and didn't think much.

Later, I slowly read fifty shades of grey's information on the Internet, only to find that this is "5 mu" (I have never heard of the term "letter yearning circle" before).

Third, learn to understand.

At first, I flew around like a headless fly, covered in bruises. Later, after many inquiries, I learned that there were circles and dating software in 5 mu, and I was more interested, so I downloaded a circle software with fox icon.

At that moment, I seemed to open the door of the new WordPress University, absorbed the air there obsessively, tried to change myself from a little white to an old white, and read articles, materials, Baidu and Weibo crazily.

I first learned what five desires are and what nouns stand for. After learning the initial tutorial of kb and TJ, I always feel that this is enough, and I want to start the journey of finding desire.

But here's the problem. When someone really wants to try with me, I panic. I realized that I was just a novice and had no experience. I don't know how to get to TJ and how to train her to be a qualified admirer, so I ran aground on the realistic idea.

Coincidentally, I met a very good girlfriend through online chat at that time. Through long-term contact, I think I can try the project of five admirers, thinking about whether I can cultivate her into an admirer, and then blow her ass in the most intense time, but her reaction is not very strong, and I don't like it very much.

I think this kind of thing needs to be based on two people's likes before I can try it, so I don't want to (I broke up for other reasons later, but she is really nice, and I still miss her very much, maybe because of nostalgia).

I have been reading relevant content to enrich myself and improve myself before breaking up. After breaking up, I practiced kb technology, tried online games, sent assignments, created group chats, and answered questions for Meng Xin (of course, I met many Meng Xin, but I simply made a self-evaluation form to scare her away). Later, A Mu slowly entered my WordPress University, met her, felt her and fell in love with her.

(Maybe what I described above is what happened to many lovely new whites. If you don't meet them, you are good enough. Don't be impatient when you meet them. No one wants to be your admirer, which means you are not good enough. Remember to improve yourself first and find something worthy of admiration. As long as you are good enough, you will always meet an admirer who suits you. The above does not include those who cheat guns, and they are not welcome here. )

Fourth, the aperture

At the beginning of her five-year military career, she was a little indifferent to her long-standing admiration at that time because of too many trivial matters. She said to me, "I feel that you don't care about me anymore." Then she left.

I'm sorry, too. I missed it The group of more than 300 people didn't take long, and few people came back. A year later, when I returned to the software again, it was full of scams, so-and-so painful experiences, all kinds of scandals, all kinds of melons, young and lovely new white (later, the software was banned and rectified for a while).

Not only because of these, but also because I think it may be difficult to meet another suitable admirer, so I slowly fade out of this circle and am busy with my career and study.

Fifth, regain the circle of letters.

Not long ago, more than two years ago, during the epidemic, friends I knew in my previous circle pulled me into a letter exchange group. At the same time, I met my girlfriend because of the epidemic. After the epidemic, I chose to run around.

The first time we met was her friend's birthday. After three rounds of wine, mixed tastes, everyone began to chat. Occasionally her friend talked about giving her a small whip and handcuffs. I was very excited at that time, and I had a question in my heart: Is she secretly in love?

I didn't send her home until after the reception. I couldn't help being curious and asked her: Do you have a tendency to worship?

She smiled and answered me: a little, how do you know? Hearing this, I seem to have won the lottery, and my heart is extremely excited.

In the next few days, I tried various games and props for her, and she accepted them. In fact, I can see that she has a desire in her heart, but it needs further development. She didn't refuse me and enjoyed the process.

I have regained my enthusiasm for the alphabet circle.