What if there is no progress in chatting with boys?

What if there is no progress in chatting with boys?

Case: I have a good chat with the object I like, and I will reply when I send a message, but I have always been friends. Although we talked for a long time, we always felt that we knew little about each other. What? If I keep chatting like this, will I still be an ordinary friend?

Analysis: Chatting is too shallow, which leads to a long-term understanding, but it is impossible to enhance our relationship through chatting.

For example, your topic has always been which movie to watch, hot things, stars, gossip and even constellations, and which store is delicious.

There is nothing wrong with these topics, but if these topics have no deep information, there is a problem.

If you want to further develop with each other, and you want to break through each other's psychological defense, your chat must have at least the following two functions:

1. Cause the other person's mood swings.

The same topic can be extended to each other, such as which movie is good, what are the personalities of men and women in it, whether you are like this in life, what would you do, and even a little fun, such as doing this together and punching cards together;

This kind of chat push-pull technique, which can cause the other person's hormone surge, aims at fluctuating the other person's mood and making the other person happy and worried about you.

2. Broaden the depth of the topic and cause the other party to expose themselves.

In emotional psychology, a topic usually contains shallow information, middle information and deep information.

Surface information: what movies, constellations and hobbies belong to this kind of topic.

Middle information: including your feelings, memories, feelings, emotions and so on.

Depth information: including the information of the other party's privacy field. When you chat, the topic must be from shallow to deep.

The technique of deep dialogue is simple. If you want to talk about middle-level information, you should focus on what you are talking about and extend it to memories, the past and feelings.

1. You talk to a man about a movie, and you say, "This movie is really good. I recommend it to you. " This sentence is superficial information.

2. However, when you say "This movie reminds me of a place where we can go together", you actually extend a certain detail of the movie topic into your past memory, which has already involved middle-level information.

Still on the topic of movies, you said that "the love between men and women is very sad, but I don't agree with their view of love." what do you think? What kind of partner do you want to find in the future? "

When talking about movies, extend the topic to more private places, such as the other person's view of mate selection. That is to say, to talk about deep information.