Why can't you talk when you are in your twenties?

Last time I went home, Xiao C picked me up as usual. She said that another friend would come later, and we would have a snack together. I sat quietly in the back seat, propping up my head and looking at the neon lights outside the window and the taillights in front of me. Very lively.

"Who's here?"

"My high school classmate you met came back from school and picked her up by the way."

"oh ~"

Then I looked out of the window again, thinking about which sentence to start when I met you in the future.

We arrived soon and we did see her. She is generous, tall and well dressed. The first thought in my mind is, will she like me? Then I deeply despise my thoughts in my heart.

I waved to her, and she hurried to our side, said a few words of thanks, and stuffed the suitcase into the trunk. It's a bit windy in winter, and I only caught a few words.

When she finished packing, I moved aside to make room for her. She threw herself into the car seat, and the cold air ran out of her clothes and swam into my nose, as refreshing as her.

Later, she said that she also wanted to be an official WeChat account. Speaking of the official WeChat account, I feel that I have found an exit. There are too many words in my throat. I'm waiting in line to come out. It's not that easy for me to give a lecture to the official WeChat account and tell her about my unsuccessful experience. The three of us have been talking to each other.

Then Xiao C asked us whether to eat barbecue or drink some tea, and finally decided to go to the milk tea bar. After discussion, the topic of WeChat official account was cut off.

The update is about Lulu's pet. She said that her pet dog's dog food should be changed, and asked us if we knew what brand of dog food was good. Xiao C said that XX brand is better, and the big bowl is cheaper, and he kept talking.

When I arrived at the tea shop, Xiao C said I was going to move the car. Lulu and I are the only ones left on the table. I am most afraid that the air will suddenly calm down. I tried to throw out some topics, but it seemed unnecessary to say anything.

She said what constellation you are, I said Pisces, and she said you must know what constellation I am. Our constellations are the best match. I said I didn't know much about horoscope, so I quickly said, "Taurus?" She shook her head and said, "Cancer."

I smiled awkwardly, bowed my head and drank a mouthful of water, secretly blaming myself for not being able to speak. Later, when Xiao C came, I was relieved. I have a sense of security when there are many people. I don't think I need to talk or huddle in the corner.

While drinking milk tea, everyone told interesting stories they had recently met. I smiled and nodded at the right time. There's a man in my head still rummaging through the closet looking for a topic.

When I got home, I turned on my mobile phone and wanted to say something to her to show that I wanted to make friends with her. After chatting for a while, it's almost twelve o'clock. I think she should go to bed.

It suddenly occurred to me that I haven't made new friends for several times, and I can't help but examine my social skills.

This is not the first time for me. Laugh with everyone at regular parties, communicate with the coach all the time when taking the driver's license test, and only eat the food in front of you when eating. I am afraid that what I say is irrelevant, that I will become a topic terminator, that I will be embarrassed and that I will be silent.

I still remember when I first entered the university, I told myself that I should learn to take care of myself when I am far away from my parents, and learn to make new friends when I am far away from my friends.

But it always seems to backfire. The more I want to make friends, the more I can't. At first, I used to push too hard, making myself and the people around me feel uncomfortable.

At that time, I often thought about what I had done before, but the more I thought about it, the more vague I felt.

I know many people, but I want to chat but I can't find anyone. Go to the playground at night, call my former friends, talk about the stupid things we did together in the past, and talk and laugh while walking.

My friend told me that I miss the past very much. I don't know how to open myself now, and I feel isolated.

I just realized that I'm not the only one with social phobia.

We wrap ourselves up and hide ourselves with introversion, so that no one will find our problems and make people unhappy. But the problem is that there is no problem and no impression, and I am often the person that everyone easily ignores.

I like to stay in my inner world, where there are beautiful fairy tales, and good people will be rewarded. It is exquisite, exquisite and beautiful, but exquisiteness seems to symbolize fragility and fragility.

I am like a dead butterfly, using a dead leaf-like surface to maintain my inner self-esteem.

When I was a freshman, I joined a club. Because one word in the name is the same, another classmate and I define each other as different people-friends. We rehearsed the program together, visited the supermarket and had dinner.

Another problem with packaging yourself is that you think you got it, but you didn't. This close friendship only lasted until we left the club. Later, because I didn't often meet and chat, I couldn't say for a few words, and I gradually lost contact.

People around me often say that I am not a person who is used to maintaining social relations, and I will have friends around me, but I won't last long after separation: I don't like face-to-face communication, unless t a looks for me, I won't look for ta and can't talk for a few words.

So I gradually got used to being alone, and I reached more than half of the loneliness that was popular before.

Some time ago, I brushed Weibo and saw a passage-growing up, I was so lonely that I didn't even have any radicals.

What is loneliness? Lin Yutang once said:

Take the word "loneliness" apart, there are children, melons, puppies, mosquitoes and flies, which are enough to prop up an alley in the midsummer evening, full of human touch. Young children hold melons in Liu Xia shed, while fine dogs chase butterflies in narrow lanes. Finally, the world is bustling and full of laughter, and I am the only one with a windy sideburns. Children's fruits, cats, dogs and flies are certainly lively, but it has nothing to do with you. This is called loneliness.

Why are you lonely? Why did you shut yourself off? I think it's because I'm not confident and introverted enough. It seems that the older I grow up, the more I know, and the more I feel small. I know that some things will have results if you really don't work hard, and not everyone should like you.

Like all introverts, I like my own world. But at the same time, I also hope to make many like-minded friends, let me express my thoughts, and have the friendship of "gathering is a fire, scattering is the sky".

But if I can, I still want to tell you loudly. I really want to be your friend.

Chipa said that the milk tea in the restaurant said that one person can also be in groups. But honey, if a person's group makes you feel bad, then go out boldly. No one is an island, and we will all find our own continent.

No one is born to socialize, but we all need friends.

I really want to be your friend.